Thursday, May 27, 2004
I'm feeling scared. I have never felt so lost and yet sure of what I need to do. My heart is stuck at customs in Japan, wondering why I am calling her back to the States. My body is here in Boulder trying to figure out how to get me back into one piece. Hello, Body calling Heart...I know it is going to hurt to go and it is going to hurt to stay, please come live with me in my body. I want to be whole.
I'm sick. and allergic to Tide, which is what I just washed all of my clothes with. Sinuses, post-nasal drip, ugh. and it is the three-quarter moon. right on time.
I'm working a lot every day. Yesterday I swirled real masks between the camera and the limegreen screen for hours. only after hours of getting the lights right and the wrinkles out. It was strange to video masks. I didn't get the feeling that they wanted their images captured. I thanked them and tried to handle them with respect. What can you do? Today I move on to spinning masks and other figurines on a lime green turntable. I am really curious to see how Boris mixes all of these images together for the show.
I'm not working at Abercrombie and Fitch. I can't proselytize for them. I can play the part of the image, but I don't want to ask other people to, as well. Also, I want to go to school full-time and not part-time. A&F just is not for me right now. It's on to searching for a job as a go-go dancer.
Things between Boris and I have become pretty intense. He wants something more than friends. I am intrigued, but my heart is still with Heather. He also reminds me of my father like no other man I have ever met. Which is bizarre. And I keep dreaming about him hanging out with and meeting my parents. It's all very unsettling. but, interesting.
This weekend promises to be full of music and friends. Arjun is in concert on Saturday, and I am going to work the bar for a couple of hours there. Pouring drinks for folks. That same night is also the Boulder Creek Festival, where Kan'nal will be playing again and other bands, although I know not whom. Tonight there is a benefit for the Co-op at Trilogy, and oh, tomorrow Bela Fleck is playing at Boulder Theater. I would like to go to all of these events. We shall see.
Laurelli and I are trading body-energy work sometime today, I hope. Although I am feeling yucky.
I am out of balance. I need to breathe, dance, and rest outside for a while.
I am too attached to my and other people's emotions right now. I need to regain trust in the universe that all is as it should be. and find the flow. Like the EAC in Nemo. way.
True.
Peace.
I'm sick. and allergic to Tide, which is what I just washed all of my clothes with. Sinuses, post-nasal drip, ugh. and it is the three-quarter moon. right on time.
I'm working a lot every day. Yesterday I swirled real masks between the camera and the limegreen screen for hours. only after hours of getting the lights right and the wrinkles out. It was strange to video masks. I didn't get the feeling that they wanted their images captured. I thanked them and tried to handle them with respect. What can you do? Today I move on to spinning masks and other figurines on a lime green turntable. I am really curious to see how Boris mixes all of these images together for the show.
I'm not working at Abercrombie and Fitch. I can't proselytize for them. I can play the part of the image, but I don't want to ask other people to, as well. Also, I want to go to school full-time and not part-time. A&F just is not for me right now. It's on to searching for a job as a go-go dancer.
Things between Boris and I have become pretty intense. He wants something more than friends. I am intrigued, but my heart is still with Heather. He also reminds me of my father like no other man I have ever met. Which is bizarre. And I keep dreaming about him hanging out with and meeting my parents. It's all very unsettling. but, interesting.
This weekend promises to be full of music and friends. Arjun is in concert on Saturday, and I am going to work the bar for a couple of hours there. Pouring drinks for folks. That same night is also the Boulder Creek Festival, where Kan'nal will be playing again and other bands, although I know not whom. Tonight there is a benefit for the Co-op at Trilogy, and oh, tomorrow Bela Fleck is playing at Boulder Theater. I would like to go to all of these events. We shall see.
Laurelli and I are trading body-energy work sometime today, I hope. Although I am feeling yucky.
I am out of balance. I need to breathe, dance, and rest outside for a while.
I am too attached to my and other people's emotions right now. I need to regain trust in the universe that all is as it should be. and find the flow. Like the EAC in Nemo. way.
True.
Peace.
Monday, May 24, 2004
I am just taking a break between projects. I have finished editing images on photoshop: healing and smudging, right up my alley. next it is ironing the green screen and shooting lots of archetypal objects against it. Sounds like good learning and good clean fun. Although I am enjoying this work, I will be glad when I get a chance to just hang out and hang out. word. I have been sleeping odd hours and eating odd hours, but at least the food is quality from the Co-op. I have deep scratches on my hands and bruises on my legs from learning to spin fire. I have been drawing pictures with oil pastels on breaks and dancing to good music. Right now (and always) life is full and awesome and beautiful in its crazy way. Arriving in this new place have thrown the learning curve high into the sky and I am trying to keep up and not lose my head, heart, or body in the process. OM.
Saturday, May 22, 2004
So, if you scroll down the screen, and even better, if you go to the May 2004 Archive on the side you will find many uploaded pictures. yay. Finally an easy way to get my pictures on line, and even close to the words that give them a context. whoo hoo! very exciting. Cheers to all and to all a goodnight.
wonderland lake on acid stitch job.
sumo thinks: I am a beautiful flower.
alien composition.
photostitched firedancing and band at Circle A Ranch.
photostitching art I made, second try.
rose bush.
wild roses, yummy to eat!
gnarly.
purple flowers...you know what that means.
flowers on the hill above the lake.
Wonderland lake, where Brock and I hiked to a week or so ago...it was scortching so we took a dip.
The Star House, where I was tonight for Kirtan.
Demetre and I doing shady puppets.
The Video projection on the side of the house.
fire dancers on the lower platform.
the drummer in the trees...
audience people dancing around the fire to some Members of Kan'nal.
ahh, the flash! Me, Brock, and DC at the party.
sunset across the plains before the party.
The stage at the Circle A Ranch party a few weeks ago evening set up. They built this into the hole in two days.
ahh...the victory photo. tour complete!
the end of the basement room tour.
closed closet door...this is even more full of dance schedules and event flyers now..
the little woman herself in her above ground tunnel.
Close up of altar, also Yukiko's favorite hiding spot.
