Wednesday, September 29, 2004
I can't believe it has been so long since I have blogged on and on...badu still in stereo. flux. I finished my first quarter of massage school. I now know a lot more than I did about anatomy and physiology, about shiatsu...meridians, about how to communicate from a place of I, something I hope my children will understand intuitively from time of prebirth. I have so much more to learn about honoring myself, heart, truth...a phrase I have summarized my expreience in: power in vulnerability. honesty is tough, honesty with self, emotions, intuitions, needs, feelings, self-defenses. I am learning who I am, slowly. i am becoming myself more and more with practice. it is a beautiful and challenging process.
I realized lately just how many friends I have around me. and gave thanks. I don't know how it happened in such a short time here, I don't think of myself as someone who makes friends easily or quickly...perhaps it is what the universe has called for. or maybe I am just going out more...outside the house and also out of myself. although social anxiety has hit a couple of times, mostly I have been keeping my heart open and my thoughts straight. Living with so many loving people helps, too. Noah said it well, near the beginning of our living together...we are all married to each other. it's true. it sounds intense at first, but when I got to thinking about it, the concept is really quite beautiful. Everyone is important, and the whole is important. it is crucial to keep an equilibrium living with this many people, to respect one another and self. honoring each other as in a marriage allows that flow to happen. I could go on and on about my amazing house people... but, hopefully some of you will come to experience it for yourselves.
Yay, Heather. is coming to visit in january. I am so excited to share here with you!
Anyone else, if you want to come over for Thanksgiving, please...that would be amazing. I look forward to a house full of thankful people. come on down!
yay.
okay.
I have been climbing twice now. I love it. holding onto rocks. as Michael said to me as he was teaching: "The rock is your improv dance partner." true. My body is still not used to hiking up hill at a high altitude so I feel like I am severely obese on the way up, huffing and puffing, as others are running past me uphill. with their camel packs. crazy boulderites. anyway, there is about one month left for me of outdoor climbing, so I am going to get as much in as possible.
Firedancing. I am still beating myself up with my poi. still a junkie. finally (I hesitate) my torches are relatively good to go and I can count on them to stay together while I spin myself into oblivion. I go to Denver with my friend Carrie every Sunday to light up with other fire dancers in town. I learn a decent amount there and get to practice with the torches on fire. Such a release, a rush, a good funtime. I can't wait to spin fire in the snow. Intrigued by the dramatic juxtaposition of elements. yeah.
Boris. and I broke up a while ago now. we kept hurting eachother senselessly, insensitively, never on the same page, it got to be too much for either of us. we split. well, he split to go to burning man, earth dance, tour with Kan'nal. I got a phonecall from him the other day saying that he found the female version of himself and an amazing art community and is going to move to San Francisco. Before he does that, though, he will be back in Boulder...I can't wait to do some firedancing with him. an adventurous partner for artistic projects...more is too much at this time.
I have been housesitting a lot and not making too much money at it, but I like the women who own the house and I know that as they make more money, so will I. and that is good. While there I have done a lot of yard work, so made money that way. I also know the neighbors now. There is a young woman, Tehani, next door who is a new friend of mine. She almost went to Vassar but turned down the 27,000 dollar scholarship to go to Middlebury, which she could not afford a second year in a row. so, she is back in boulder and we have a lot in common, which is great to have a girl friend outside my house and/or school. yay.
I seem to have a lot of younger friends in my life right now. and older. maybe that is what mid twenties is about. a range?
I have a new boyfriend. He is my housemate, Michael. The guy I asked to live in Four Mile two hours after he introduced himself in class on my first day at massage school. He sat around for a while wondering when I was going to free myself from my relationship with Boris, which, by the time Michael saw it, was quite unpleasant and destructive. I was really hesitant to begin a romantic relationship with a housemate. Fear of what-if-afters and also just because it was my number one rule: no dating in the house. of course, I should have known I am always the first to break such an staunchly articulated rule. Luckily I was really the only one waggling a dissaproving finger at me. Michael is Michael. Things are beautiful. I smile when I wake up next to him, each and every time. one day at a time. here we are. "Where people come together there are no coincidences." that's what he said.
I smiled.
Right now I am eating leftovers from last night's huge japanese feast. Tehani and Nathaniel came over and we all made miso, rice, cut up sushi, salad, etc, etc. Jenna put together some peanut butter and banana rolls. yummy, but don't go well with raw fish. ten of us ate dinner together and nine did a full moon ritual after guests drove to their homes...full moon in aries.
after dinner, I forgot to serve the ice cream mochi, so as I have been writing this entry, I ate so many ice cream mochi. yum. cool, sweet, squishy, yummy. magnifique.
okay, It is time for me to re-enter wakinglife. I have not been internetting much lately, as you may have noticed. I would love to talk on the phone, though. 303.247.9909.
Address: 1175 Four Mile Canyon, Boulder, CO 80302
Even when I don't cybercontact you, my heart is touching in. Love. Blessings. Peace. Breathing in, Breathing out.
I realized lately just how many friends I have around me. and gave thanks. I don't know how it happened in such a short time here, I don't think of myself as someone who makes friends easily or quickly...perhaps it is what the universe has called for. or maybe I am just going out more...outside the house and also out of myself. although social anxiety has hit a couple of times, mostly I have been keeping my heart open and my thoughts straight. Living with so many loving people helps, too. Noah said it well, near the beginning of our living together...we are all married to each other. it's true. it sounds intense at first, but when I got to thinking about it, the concept is really quite beautiful. Everyone is important, and the whole is important. it is crucial to keep an equilibrium living with this many people, to respect one another and self. honoring each other as in a marriage allows that flow to happen. I could go on and on about my amazing house people... but, hopefully some of you will come to experience it for yourselves.
Yay, Heather. is coming to visit in january. I am so excited to share here with you!
Anyone else, if you want to come over for Thanksgiving, please...that would be amazing. I look forward to a house full of thankful people. come on down!
yay.
okay.
I have been climbing twice now. I love it. holding onto rocks. as Michael said to me as he was teaching: "The rock is your improv dance partner." true. My body is still not used to hiking up hill at a high altitude so I feel like I am severely obese on the way up, huffing and puffing, as others are running past me uphill. with their camel packs. crazy boulderites. anyway, there is about one month left for me of outdoor climbing, so I am going to get as much in as possible.
Firedancing. I am still beating myself up with my poi. still a junkie. finally (I hesitate) my torches are relatively good to go and I can count on them to stay together while I spin myself into oblivion. I go to Denver with my friend Carrie every Sunday to light up with other fire dancers in town. I learn a decent amount there and get to practice with the torches on fire. Such a release, a rush, a good funtime. I can't wait to spin fire in the snow. Intrigued by the dramatic juxtaposition of elements. yeah.
Boris. and I broke up a while ago now. we kept hurting eachother senselessly, insensitively, never on the same page, it got to be too much for either of us. we split. well, he split to go to burning man, earth dance, tour with Kan'nal. I got a phonecall from him the other day saying that he found the female version of himself and an amazing art community and is going to move to San Francisco. Before he does that, though, he will be back in Boulder...I can't wait to do some firedancing with him. an adventurous partner for artistic projects...more is too much at this time.
I have been housesitting a lot and not making too much money at it, but I like the women who own the house and I know that as they make more money, so will I. and that is good. While there I have done a lot of yard work, so made money that way. I also know the neighbors now. There is a young woman, Tehani, next door who is a new friend of mine. She almost went to Vassar but turned down the 27,000 dollar scholarship to go to Middlebury, which she could not afford a second year in a row. so, she is back in boulder and we have a lot in common, which is great to have a girl friend outside my house and/or school. yay.
I seem to have a lot of younger friends in my life right now. and older. maybe that is what mid twenties is about. a range?
I have a new boyfriend. He is my housemate, Michael. The guy I asked to live in Four Mile two hours after he introduced himself in class on my first day at massage school. He sat around for a while wondering when I was going to free myself from my relationship with Boris, which, by the time Michael saw it, was quite unpleasant and destructive. I was really hesitant to begin a romantic relationship with a housemate. Fear of what-if-afters and also just because it was my number one rule: no dating in the house. of course, I should have known I am always the first to break such an staunchly articulated rule. Luckily I was really the only one waggling a dissaproving finger at me. Michael is Michael. Things are beautiful. I smile when I wake up next to him, each and every time. one day at a time. here we are. "Where people come together there are no coincidences." that's what he said.
I smiled.
Right now I am eating leftovers from last night's huge japanese feast. Tehani and Nathaniel came over and we all made miso, rice, cut up sushi, salad, etc, etc. Jenna put together some peanut butter and banana rolls. yummy, but don't go well with raw fish. ten of us ate dinner together and nine did a full moon ritual after guests drove to their homes...full moon in aries.
after dinner, I forgot to serve the ice cream mochi, so as I have been writing this entry, I ate so many ice cream mochi. yum. cool, sweet, squishy, yummy. magnifique.
okay, It is time for me to re-enter wakinglife. I have not been internetting much lately, as you may have noticed. I would love to talk on the phone, though. 303.247.9909.
Address: 1175 Four Mile Canyon, Boulder, CO 80302
Even when I don't cybercontact you, my heart is touching in. Love. Blessings. Peace. Breathing in, Breathing out.
